Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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