Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
