I heard we made out
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
