oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
