i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
