I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I have feelings that need drinking.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
