She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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