Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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