Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
