Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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