doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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