so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
