Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
