I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
