You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
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