Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
