I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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