speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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