My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
