Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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