I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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