a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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