She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
