you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize