Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
