Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
