SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
