How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
