I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
