when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
