We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
