Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
