i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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