I'm drive I can fine osifer
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
