none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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