You're a womanizer and a bitch.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
