you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
