Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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