I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
