Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
