she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize