That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
