Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
