Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
