i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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