we have officially lost it.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
