He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
