i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I love having hate sex.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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