my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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