okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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