It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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