You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
