Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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