We're like a lot better than the average bears
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
