Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize