I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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