Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
